In a bid to curb the menace and conflicts in marriage which is very rampant in our society, NASIRUL-LAHI-FATIH Society of Nigeria (NASFAT) Mieiran branch, has Imam Saheed encouraged Muslim women on IVF as Islam is not against it, while surrogacy is none Islamic practice.
The Islamic organisation in its monthly lecture, which was on marriage counselling themed, “An integral part of marriage preparation and marital crisis resolution”, held recently at it asalatu ground.
The lead- missionar, NASFAT Ikoyi -Dolphin outreach, Imam Saheed Adekunle, who delivered a lecture on the above theme, encouraged couples to avoid crisis and build a happy home.
On IVF and surrogacy, Imam Saheed encouraged Muslim women on IVF, saying that Islam did not go against it, however, noted that surrogacy is none Islamic practice.
He, therefore, urged Muslim couples to take proper precautions, as he states six causes and solutions to crisis in marriages.
Imam Saheed, also, encouraged couples to go for both marital and premarital counselling, adding that “counselling builds homes, it prepares couples against good and bad times. It is technically handled by experts.
On women claiming equal rights with their spouses, he advises them to stop the act as Allah says in the Quran that, ” By my own natural way of creating a home, I have made a man as t he leader of the family”, adding that the saying of what a man can do, a woman can do much better has been responsible for many broken homes.
“There is a tendency to be problems in a home if the wife is competing with her husband. Women are seeing it as we are in man’s world, and that is what civilisation has caused.”
Speaking on some of the factors that are responsible for many broken homes, he highlighted Money, couples waiting for the fruits of the womb, Sex, communication gap, Food, among many others as some of the problems that causing broken homes In the recent time.
He, explained further that If a man does not have money to take care of his family there will be crisis in such home.
According to him, men should not ask their wife on how they spend the money given to them, because it is a very big problem in marriage. If you don’t have money take care of your wife and the children it is advisable not to venture into marriage.
“Women are going into entrepreneurs, while men are job seekers, that is why women ripe early for marriage, while men are not. I encourage women to manage men with little income, not with nothing”, he said.
The counsellor, also urges couples that are waiting for the fruits of the womb to see it as a challenging time for them, while people should not be adding to their problem by asking them why they did not conceive yet, as this usually affects them psychologically. “I encourage adoption as the best option for such couples”, he said.
On lack of sex and communication in marriages, he acknowledged the vital role this plays marriage saying that “God created men as wared when it comes to sex, because when a man wants to have sexual intimacy with his wife, he will not be able to sleep. While some women use sex as a weapon and Islam is against it. Sex should be enjoyed between couples. And communication is key, any marriage that lacks it will have problems.
Shedding light on women not cooking for their spouses, he said, “Cook good food for your husband, as men like good food, if you think your husband does not like food denied him, some men marries because of food. Also don’t expect too much from your spouse, don’t let your expectations be too high, you will always be disappointed.”
Consequently, he advises couples to always be happy, “if you choose to be happy, you will always be happy, nobody is ready to make you happy unless you make yourself happy. Spend quality time together, go on vacation, even if it is your village. Evaluate marriage take time out.
“Lastly, ask your spouse if he or she is happy with your relationship. And be quick to apologise, always ready to say sorry, saying sorry will make you save your homes. If any thing happens treat it as a new one, enjoy your marriage, stop enduring.